We all have guilty pleasures. Some of us even have super-secret ones that we will never share with anyone. There’s nothing wrong with that. Who am I to judge? If you think yours are bad, here is a list of 20 of my guilty pleasures:
1. Buying books just to add them to my collection
I’ll read them eventually. I just need to build an arsenal so that I have a bunch of choices to choose from. Besides, I get them from my favorite book store Half Price Books so it’s not like a spend a fortune on them.
2. Stashing junk food in the cupboard, on top of the refrigerator so my son doesn’t find them.
Listen, my son is like a metal detector but the junk food kind. We’ll call him a junk food detector! He has found all of my secret hiding spots except for this one. It could be because he can’t reach it. Or… it could be because I pushed a heavy Roulette drinking game in front of it so that he can’t open the door.
3. Pretending I’m asleep so the people in my house don’t bother me
Come on now! We’ve all been there. You know you have those moments when you just don’t feel like talking so you pretend, you’re sleeping so your family member will just walk out. I have a very talkative family and I’m the complete opposite.
4. Eating a favorite food or candy and telling others they don’t eat it because you don’t want to share.
I admit that I’m selfish. Butch check this out… If I were to share certain things it would only leave me with a little bit. Therefore, I would no longer be able to enjoy it. #logic
The drinking kind and the drama kind. I am a member of a few Facebook groups that love to “spill the tea”. It has proven to be entertaining at times.
6. Blasting music in my car
I love bass and I love feeling like I’m surrounded by the music. Let’s be real, you can’t really get into a song unless the music is blaring, and the bass is jumping. You just can’t. Sometimes, I even blast “The Thong Song” by Sisqo just to watch the reaction of other drivers. Say what you want but it’s a classic!
I know, I know. It’s rude! Whatever!! At least I pretend I’m not listening and I am very good at pretending I’m not listening, if I may say so myself. Besides, it’s not something I’m doing often since I ignore people most of the time. Which brings me to number 8.
8. Ignoring people
Whether a person is talking to me or to someone else, 9/10 you can guarantee that I’m ignoring you. No, it’s not because I do it on purpose. Sometimes, I just lose interest and don’t want to listen anymore. I listen when it’s important. I’m very good at listening and giving advice when necessary.
9. Eating olives straight from the jar
It’s not classy when you eat it from the jar but at least I use a fork. That has got to count for something. Olives are tree candy just like cherries but only they taste different. Don’t knock them until you try them and if you like them, just don’t touch mine.
10. Pelvic thrusting to any song
Did you know that the pelvic thrust is so versatile that you can do it to ANY style of music? (Besides religious music of course. That would just be rude) It makes me feel so alive. I know SpongeBob agrees with me!
Oh, man! I have papers, clothes, books, you name it, from as far back as Elementary School which was a good 17 or more years ago. (Don’t try to guess my age and I won’t tell because a lady never tells. Just kidding, I’m not ashamed of my age because I look younger.) I can’t seem to let go of stuff. In fact, I have stuff spread across three houses because I’m such a nomad that I leave things behind but make sure it’s not thrown away.
I tend to get lost in my own thoughts. Sometimes trying to find out the meaning of life is more important than the movie that’s on tv that I’m supposed to be watching with my family. When I figure it out, it will benefit them so that’s my excuse!
13. Belting out 80s & 90s tunes when someone says a song keyword
I’m corny, so what. Sue me! The 80s & 90s brought us the best music of all time. The music of today is pretty sad for the most part. My music is awesome though. I’m allowed to toot my own horn every once in a while.
14. Spending the day in bed
Sometimes I am unable to leave the bed due to my mental health. Other days, I just don’t want to leave. What for? I keep everything I need in arms reach so that getting up is rare. Call me lazy but we’re allowed to have lazy days.
As a New Yorker, it’s only right that I love pizza. I’m a Pizza Snob too. I only like Pizzeria Pizza. Domino’s, Papa John’s, Cici’s, and any other mainstream place like that is garbage to me. They don’t count as pizza. I’ll make an exception for Little Caesar’s!
16. Pranking my family (including the dog)
It’s all fun and games until someone gets pranked. It’s how I like to keep a smile on their face. I’m talking about old school pranking. Not this new kind that is just a bunch of young people doing “Cheating on my boyfriend prank” and “Birdbox prank”. Who does that? By the way, I haven’t seen Birdbox nor do I plan too.
17. Eating out
I used to spend $900 a month on restaurants. Most of it was sit down restaurants. What can I say? I enjoy a good meal and don’t like cooking it. Although, my Curry Chicken is the bomb!
18. Online shopping
Since the invention of e-commerce is the way to go, I can shop while sitting comfortably in my bed. In a store, trying to find an item but the selections aren’t cutting it? Check Amazon. I’m addicted to Amazon.
19. Binge watching Anime
Anime is frigging awesome and you can’t convince me otherwise. I sometimes dream about being in an epic fight and kicking ass. Then I wake up and remember that I’m cool but not anime fighter cool. It’s okay though, we can’t have it all.
20. Sniffing my food before I eat it
In my mind, I can smell if there is poison in it. Others may not agree but whatever. I can’t eat anything that doesn’t pass my sniff test. If it fails, I won’t eat it and you couldn’t pay me to. That wasn’t too bad. Was it? What are some of your guilty pleasures?