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8 Things To Do After A Breakup

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Dating can be hard at times. Think about it! You have two different personalities trying to combine themselves into a team. Sometimes, the team falls apart and then another personality comes along. You try again with the next person and are confident that it will work, but then you fall back down to square one, trying to find another team member for your Two Person Team. It is best to prepare yourself to be better for the next relationship. Before you get into a new relationship, there are steps that you need to take for your new relationship to work out. Do not give up your soul for anyone else. Take my advice and for you to succeed after a breakup.

Here are 8 things to do after a breakup:

 

1. Get To Know You

You cannot be with someone and not know who you are. By seeking a relationship before finding out who you are, you are bound to either lose yourself or accept anything they may throw at you. You may even ruin the relationship and lay with someone’s emotions because you don’t know what you want. KNOW who you are so you will not CHANGE who you are to make someone else happy. If you want to make a change, do it for yourself.

2. Self-Love

As Ru-Paul loves to say, “If you don’t love yourself… How in the hell are you gonna love anybody else?”. It’s the honest truth. I can’t stress this enough!!! You MUST love yourself because, without that, you will not have respect for yourself. As a woman, it is important that you not only respect yourself but others as well.

3. Treat Yo Self

Go ahead and take some time to yourself. Take yourself on a vacation, staycation or even a date. You know that item you wanted that your ex would’ve despised? Go buy it! Why? Because you can. Duh!!! Give it a shot.

4. Reflect

Think about all that transpired in the relationship. Now, think about all the things that you did wrong. It is important to acknowledge, accept and fix your faults. You know those things that your ex did that were so terrible? Decide what you will and will not accept in the next relationship. Learn all the signs of someone you should not waste your time. DO NOT take your past hurts into a new relationship. You must first take time to heal.

5. Become A Better You

You know all the details you learned while reflecting? This is when you take those details and change what you need to. The goal is for you to become a better you. Not only for you, but also for the next person you decide to be with. Nobody is perfect but that does not mean that you continue to do wrong just because you refuse to be better. Your goal should be to be happy, successful and helpful toward others. Do not sit around and fester, holding a grudge against your ex when you could be focusing on the things in your life instead.

6. Leave Yo Ex Alone!!

You don’t need to know what your ex is up to. Stalking their new partner is creepy and obsessive so don’t do that either. How can you be happy and successful if you’re spending a lot of time worrying about your Ex and their new mate? An Ex is an Ex for a reason. This means they’ve walked out of the EXIT door and there is no re-entry! Get over it, accept it, live it, move on! They don’t care what you’re doing with your life and they’re definitely not checking for you so focusing on them does nothing for you. Focus on yo self!

7. Focus On Yo Self

You know that business you wanted to start but may not have had the time for? Start it. That hobby you didn’t have time for and they didn’t agree with? Do it! That out-of-state job you wanted to get? Apply for it. Go do all the positive things you wanted to do in the relationship but didn’t take the time for. This is your time to shine.

8. Get Back Into The Dating Field

I’m not telling you to walk around thirsty and trying your hardest to find someone new. Don’t be desperate. Nobody likes a desperate person. Don’t go LOOKING for a mate. They will come to you when you least expect it. It may take a few months or years, but the wait will be worth it. Always have the intentions of becoming friends first and if it turns into something more, then so be it. If not, it’s okay. Keep moving forward.

I’ve been in a few relationships. I can count on one hand how many times I actually felt crappy after a breakup. Why? Most of the time I really didn’t care, and I already knew the breakup was coming. I’ve spent many years being single because I was not interested in dating anyone. I felt I didn’t want to waste my time and needed to focus on bettering myself. I dated people that I let dull my shine. That was a mistake that I will not be making again.

After my last breakup, I needed to make a change within myself. I went back to school, started volunteering for a local Nonprofit, started taking my photography more serious, started making music, released my debut single “Here With Me”, and much more. All while becoming more positive and taking care of myself Physically and Mentally. I learned that some people are only meant to be in your life for a season.

Want some more dating advice? Check out my post on”How To Let A Man Be A Man“. If you haven’t already, sign up for my email list and follow me on Instagram and Facebook. Enjoy your week!

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