Addicted To The Pain
*Before you get into this post, I want you to know that I have been sitting on this one for a while. It continuously pops up like an annoying sibling that won’t go away when you are busy. So, here goes. Don’t shoot the messenger. Take it up with God*
I know this is going to be a hard one for some of you. But I want you to hear me out. I’m telling you this out of love. I’m telling you in hopes that it will make you stop and think about it. I want you to think about what I say because it needs to change but it cannot until you’re ready for it.
Let’s Jump Into It
Some of us are addicted to the pain. We are addicted to the pain in our lives and the chaos that causes it. So much so, that it destroys our happiness on a daily basis. We tend to make problems when there are none. We tend to say and do things that cause these problems and claim we’ve done nothing when we are held accountable. Yes, I’m talking to you. The person that feels you need to address everything. The person that is ALWAYS going through it emotionally. The person that takes offense to every little thing. Yes, you!
You cannot be happy because you’re addicted to the pain. You’re not doing it intentionally, but the fact still remains. Why do you spend every single day focusing on the people who have hurt you? Why can’t you spend every day thinking about the people who have poured into you? The good things that happen to you?! I’m going to be real with you, it’s what you want. Until you want different, and you make the effort to think different, you will always come to the same conclusion. You will always be in a place where there is chaos and sadness. This is not something we want but can be hard to get away from because it is all that you know.
I’m not saying you have to look at life through Rose Colored Glasses because that’s not realistic. I am telling you that YOU need to change your mindset. Yes, some people hurt people. Guess what?!?! There are people that lift others up. Some people have and will lift you up. In fact, there may be someone in your life right now doing just that but you’re too busy caught up in the “people hurt me” mode to appreciate it. You’re too busy condemning others to enjoy it. You’re too busy looking for the next painful experience to realize that doing so is preventing your happiness.
If all you see is hurt and pain, that is all that you will feel. Even the greatest storms have shelter. You may feel like you are alone but you’re not. Guess who is with you? God is. Don’t believe me? Okay, I’ll show you. Remember that unbearable situation you were in that you told yourself would end you? Well, you’re no longer in it and it didn’t end you because you’re here now, reading this. Let it go! Yes, it hurts, and you’re allowed to feel pain but there comes a time when you NEED to let it go. Get to a point where you can talk about it without it controlling your emotions and without it being the cause of you treating yourself and others like dirt.
Everyone is not out to get you. Everyone doesn’t have time to sit around and have Tea Parties where you’re the topic of discussion. The type of Tea Parties where they try to plan out ways to hurt YOU. I’m asking you to let it go. SURRENDER it to God and ask for strength not to pick it up again. I beg of you because it is hurting you. Not only is it hurting you, but it is also hurting the people around you. That may be your spouse, kids, parents, sister/brother, or extended family. It’s a habit that will not be broken until YOU kick the addiction.
It may feel good to have people who know what you’re going through or have music that expresses all the hurt and the pain. DO NOT let it consume you. As much as we don’t like to admit it, the things that we listen to and watch have a huge influence on our lives. Don’t believe me, go listen to some Mary J. Blige from the 90s and see how you feel. Man, when we were younger, most of us had ZERO experience in the problems that Mary sang about but we belted out that music and FELT every word she was singing. It was a bond we shared with her temporarily. These days there are so many more people singing and rapping from a hurt place and we’re just eating it up and becoming so FULL of it that we have no room for the music that makes us happy. Music that positively influences our lives.
We’re going to work on this together. I want you to try something with me. Find 2 songs that are positive influences. I want you to listen to those songs every single day for a week. You can even try playing them when you’re feeling down. Now, I’m not asking you to completely give up the struggle music. In fact, I need you to record the difference in your feelings when you listen to the positive vs the struggle music. Now, I know some of us struggle with Depression, but I NEED you to try it. I mean, you’re not losing anything by trying unless this experiment is successful. Well then, you’ll be losing that addiction to pain. Next, every day I need you to write down two things you’re grateful for. Last, I need you to try praying at least once a day. Even if it’s just a “Hey God, I really need some positivity to shine in on my life right now. I’m so grateful that I’m still here to see another day but I need you, God”. Can you do that? Not for me. For you!
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