When I was a kid, I left the church and denounced Christianity as a whole. I took a little here and there from each religion. I was so angry at God because I couldn’t understand why he would allow the things that transpired over the course of my life. Even in childhood, there was a kid that told me to read the entire Bible for myself and I refused. I had already picked up my Bible and had no clue where it was nor was I planning on searching for it. I went from being Athiest (or so I thought) for a few years to being Agnostic (thanks to my cousin who pointed that out) up until my early 20s or so. Eventually, I started seeking again. I dove into Spirituality. I learned sooooo much and I saw so much.
I began to understand a lot more and it was great until I started to really pay attention. I saw the hurt and the pain. I saw the anger and the hatred. I saw the loneliness and disassociation. I started to SEE people. I started to understand why people did the things they did and why they were the way they were. I learned so much that I had no idea was biblical. Eventually, I started to ask questions again. At this point, I had Cj Morgan who had already planted a seed that started to grow. So, I started asking him questions to which he would answer with no hesitation if he knew it and if he didn’t, he said so and he would look for me. Eventually, I took another stab at reading the Bible. A scripture here and there when someone brought one up. If I had a question, I would Google the Bible verse and go from there. I was still refusing to pray though.
I don’t even remember what my first adult prayer was but I remember feeling so stupid like I was talking to myself for the longest time. I asked CJ what was the point if God didn’t care anyway? This man helped me along the way. The people he introduced me to, and the ones that showed up were an addition. They became to me what I needed when I was younger but I realized that I wouldn’t be who I am today had I not gone through everything I’ve gone through. These last years have been amazing, in spite of all of the storms I’ve experienced. Now that I found my way back to Christianity, I still find myself asking CJ sometimes “wait, that’s okay? Wait, it’s the same thing? Waaaait, you’re joking right?” When something is said or done that I learned from the time that I was living my “Spiritual Life”.
Don’t get me wrong, I still can’t get jiggy with the traditional and religious aspects but when this dude said “Christianity is not a religion. It is a relationship between you and loving God.” I added… The mission is to seek and find God for yourself so that you can know him for yourself and understand your purpose and what he’s calling you to do with him. This is how you will walk in your purpose. And I will stand on this.
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