What is inclusion? Inclusion is the action or state of including or being included within a group or structure. Let’s sit here and think about this for a minute. I’ve been sitting on this topic for a good minute. I’ve sat back and observed so many instances where people have been included because of who they were to someone. Included because someone felt obligated to do so. Included because they were pitied. Let me tell you something!!!! Don’t let inclusion get you into trouble.
Here are a few reasons why inclusion can be a bad thing:
1. It Will Destroy Your Peace
There are certain people who ruin the moment every single time they’re around. It can be anything from saying and doing things out of spite or just starting arguments for no reason. This constant flow of negativity will ruin your peace. Whether you ignore it or not, it will still have a lasting effect. If you must include people like this, be prepared for it. Know when to disengage if at all.
2. It Keeps You Stagnant
Do you know you are judged by the company you keep? Having certain individuals around will stunt your growth and opportunities. Why? Some will literally try and stop every good thing that comes your way. It can be by getting in the way, convincing you that it’s not good for you, or convincing others you don’t need or deserve it. Everyone is not meant to go where you’re going and they will try to make sure you don’t get there.
3. You Shrink Yourself
You know those times where you have to HIDE the good that’s happening to you because some people are around? You can’t share anything because they may feel like you’re bragging, try to outdo you, belittle you, or even go behind your back and try to ruin it for you. Yeah, DO NOT shrink yourself for anybody. Nobody should make you feel like your accomplishments are something you should be ashamed of. Or you have to dumb yourself down because you don’t want to offend.
Now, I get it, you can’t act the same way around everyone because everyone doesn’t understand. Now, hear me out. If you’re a scientist, you can’t go around certain people who aren’t and use the jargon you use on the regular because they will not understand. In this case, it is okay to speak on a level that those around you will understand. In this instance, it is not dumbing yourself down but it is characterized as a skill because you have to learn to communicate with others who are outside of your norm. It takes skill to be able to understand others and have them understand you.
4. It Gets You Into Trouble
There are things people are into that will come back and haunt you. Not only that, but there are also others who thrive in chaos and discord. Some are the type to say, “I have no filter”, start issues with people, and can’t back it up to save their lives. Then you’re left trying to defend someone who put themselves in the predicament they’re in, while they’re sitting in the shadows enjoying every minute of your demise. You may have someone who is into some deep doodoo and it just so happens that they’re around you so now you’re in deep too. I’m telling you to watch who and what you include in your life.
5. Doing It For The Wrong Reason
I get it! Some of us feel bad and pity others so we include them. That’s not the bad part. The bad part is pitying and feeling bad for people who are in the middle of their karma. They did it to themselves. That is not something that you should disrupt. Also, including someone just because of who they are to you is not okay. When you include others out of obligation, not only does it show but you run the risk of regretting it every single time. Knowing someone or feeling bad for someone is not a reason to include someone. Especially when that person is the cause of 1-4. All I’m saying is, watch what you include people in. You don’t want to mess yourself up nor others around you.
To be fair, inclusion can be a good thing at times as well. Here are reasons to include people:
1. You May Be Surprised
One day you may decide to give someone a chance and find out that person is your new favorite person. They may be a good example in your life and you spent time trying not to include them because of something or someone else. You’d be surprised how much your life will change for the better when you give people a chance. You may find that this person you judged initially based on their looks, initial actions, or what others have said, may end up showing you a whole new world
2. You’ll Enjoy Yourself
MAN! Some people are the life of the party. They not only know how to have a good time but they also know how to lift the spirits of others. Sometimes, you need another person to bring out the good qualities in you that you didn’t even know you had.
Why Was This More Focus Placed On The Bad?
I put more effort into explaining the bad because most of know the good in why they should include people. I felt the need to give some something to think about when choosing their circle. We all know good reasons to include others but not the bad. When including people, it is best to use discernment to determine whether you want them around or not. If it’s a fairly new person, this will be the case for sure. Now, if it’s someone that has been around, you already know when you should and shouldn’t include them, if at all.
I don’t know about you but I never want to be included if someone doesn’t want me around. Nor do I try to include myself. I’d much rather sit things out, mind my business and do what I need to do. It’s also okay to say no to when certain people try to include you. You never know what people are into nor the intentions they have for you. I understand that there are people who long for inclusion because they have no one. If you are one of them you should probably take some time to think about why that is. While some people literally have no one, others are pushed away because of who they are and what they have done to other people. As I always say, let’s hold ourselves accountable for our actions and work to become better people.