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Oh, hey there! Happy New Year!!!! It seems like every year, around the end of December we see and hear the infamous line “New Year, New Me!”. Now, I’m not going to knock people for wanting to change. I do commend those who actually take the initiative to make a change. Whether they decide to change in the New Year, their Birthday, Easter, or Mother’s Day, it should not make a difference. The point is that change is happening. The goal is to become better versions of ourselves.
Here are 7 things that we all can improve on in the New Year! Yes, I know that some of us are perfect and don’t need to work on anything *eye roll* but the truth is…….YA DO!!!! Like I said earlier, NOBODY IS PERFECT! Let it sink in and accept it. It’s okay. It doesn’t hurt to be a good person, I promise!
In 2020, let’s hold ourselves accountable for our actions. I don’t care what is done to you, how you react is totally on you. Some adults still blame their parents for how they are in their adult age. Here’s a news flash, you are an adult, are in charge of yourself and of who you are. Who your parents are, does not define who YOU are. Don’t go around hurting people because your parents did this that and the third to you. Get in a corner somewhere, evaluate your shortcomings and make a change. There should be no reason why you should blame someone else for something that YOU did. Try putting the blame for your actions on someone else in a court setting and see how that works out for you.
We must accept that we are not perfect and accept EVERYTHING that we do. This goes hand and hand with accountability. If you did something, accept the fact that you did it. Don’t kick someone and say you “DIDN’T DO NOTHING”, knowing full well that you did. The fact is the matter is, YOU DID IT! Want to piss me off? Do something and say you didn’t do anything. It’s really not hard to accept your fault in things. It’s not hard to accept that you are not where you want to be because of the decisions you made. You did it, accept it, make a change, and move on. Accept yourself so that you won’t long to be accepted by others.
As we age, we gain more and more responsibility. Yes, being an adult sucks but we have to be responsible adults. We are responsible for ourselves, our future, and for some of us, our children. That’s not to say that if you have a child that is a demon spawn, that you take full responsibility for it.
You can lead a horse to the water, but you cannot force it to drink. In other words, no matter how you raise your children to be upstanding citizens, they will do what they want at the end of the day and there’s really nothing that you can do about it. So, if you’re one of those people that have to be in control all the time, you’re in for a rude awakening.
Here’s another example, some of us like to wait until the last minute to take action. Usually, it’s when it is waaaaaay too late and the repercussions are beating us in the head. We sit there asking. “why is this happening to me?!?!”. I’ll tell you why!….. You waited until the last minute to take care of your responsibility and chose to play the Woah Is Me card when the sh*t hit the fan.
Take care of what you need to take care of instead of procrastinating. I say this from experience because I’ve done it a few times in the past. I learned my lesson and haven’t done it since.
I am so guilty of this. I can’t forgive anything and no one to save my life. It is a flaw because I will hold a grudge for years and years. My thought process has always been, if you do something that needs forgiveness, there is no reason why I should keep you around. And I am not the type to be bothered by a lot so what I deem unforgivable is always based on logic and never emotion.
Here’s an example, someone gets mad and threatens me out of emotion, not only will I never trust them because they live their lives based on emotion, but they will always be bad in my book because they made the mistake of threatening me. No matter how empty the threat was, it’s the principle of it. Now, there are a few exceptions to the rule, and I mean A FEW! Those people I will get along with but in the back of my mind, I will always think about what will set their emotions off and have them act out of character the next time. The next time, I will not be so “forgiving” for lack of a better word.
They tell you to forgive people for yourself to make you feel better. If I were to forgive, I still would not accept the person so it would make no difference to me. I mean, why trust someone enough to do what they did, a second. Granted, I know forgiveness doesn’t mean I have to accept them but when it comes to family, you are expected to get along like nothing ever happened.
What I am saying is, forgive people but don’t have any expectations of them. Should you decide that you will continue dealing with them, use your brain and keep in mind that they can always do something else that you will have to forgive them for or rather, be expected to forgive them for. If it’s a little thing, go right ahead but if it’s something that is unforgivable, just keep it moving because they missed out on you being around by betraying you a second time.
Now, I am the queen of being petty. Or WITTY is what it used to be called. However, some things we do to be petty is extremely immature. I mean, going out of your way to do something spiteful to someone just because, is extremely immature. I’ve only been petty when others have bothered me. I stay to myself, so I feel the need to introduce people to my wrath when they bother me. But still.
We have got to do better. We can start by minding the business that pays us. Second, we can work on our self-growth and the way we treat ourselves and others. Third, we can focus on being good people in general. We are no longer kids, this isn’t high school, bullying people and all that bs was old then and it’s ancient now.
Hear me out! I don’t mean avoid any and everything. I’m talking somewhere along the lines of avoiding negative people and people who do not have your best interest at heart. Or, avoiding bad habits that will put you in a bad spot. I don’t mean let’s avoid our bills and our kids because they always want to ask for something or tell us to look at something a billion times in a row.
Although those things do suck, they are unavoidable. Unless of course, you want your utilities to get shut off, your car to be repossessed, your house to be foreclosed on, you and your family to be evicted, your kids to become serial killers, etc. etc. Then, by all means, avoid those things…… I’m joking. That is bad. We don’t want any of those things to happen.
You can’t grow unless you change. So, when someone tells you that you’ve changed, thank them and keep it pushing. When you change for the better, you will leave people behind who are comfortable with their stagnancies in life. That’s their problem, not yours. We must heal from everything that has been done to us and everything that we have done to ourselves.
When we heal, we leave behind the things that continue to hurt us. Let it go! I’m still working on this one as well. I have A LOT to heal from that I didn’t even think still bothered me until 2019 came around. I will not continue to hurt myself because of my past. I am healed! I will claim it now because this year, it will happen!