The question that most of us ask but nobody wants to know the answer to. Whenever we go through something that we deem bad, we tend to ask this question. When things are good, this question is nowhere in our thoughts. We don’t sit around wondering, “What did I do to deserve this?!” when things are going great. Instead, we go through the experience and enjoy it without ever questioning it.
As I stepped into my late 20s, I stepped into emotional and spiritual wisdom and growth beyond what I ever even believed existed. I stopped asking “Why Me?!” and started asking “What is it that you are trying to show me and prepare me for?!”. As my 30s approach faster than Usain Bolt, I am now listening, watching and understanding a lot more than I have in the past. It’s definitely been a struggle for sure.
As much as we don’t like to admit it, sometimes, we go through things because we put ourselves in that position. Now, don’t get me wrong, there are certain situations that we have no control over. Such as the actions of other people. We cannot help what others do to us but our reaction to them is what we can control. I believe in seeking justice, but I don’t believe in being spiteful and hateful. I can be a little Petty Betty at times, but it is all in good fun.
Back To The Point
We cannot sit around having a pity party for ourselves. There are those of us who cannot help it and all I can do is encourage myself and others when they feel like they’re experiencing the end of the world as they know it. I still have those days and moments where I still do it. I ask that you reach out to someone or even me in those times. I would love to help you turn your “why me?!” into, “what is this experience preparing me to get ready for, what is the lesson here?”. And don’t worry, I won’t be all “Sunshine, rainbows, positivity, fake, blahdy blah. Just be warned, I will give you the truth and will not accept any excuses.
Are You Still Wondering Why Me?
Here are a few why’s that I have compiled into a list for you:
1. This experience is telling you to slow down
Some of us are living a lifestyle where we are DOING TOO MUCH! A few ratchets will be thrown in our path from time to time to get us to slow down a bit. You may find that every time you try to do something you probably shouldn’t be doing, something always happens to try and sabotage it. That is your sign that you need to hang it up.
2. There is an important lesson
I’m a firm believer in everything happens for a reason. As we move through life and become more aware, we begin to see that there is a lesson in everything. You can learn a thing or two from any and everything. For example, take any random day in your life and think about it. Think about all of the things that repeated itself. You may have seen a phrase or sentence, then someone else randomly said that same phrase or sentence which triggered a thought in your head. What did you learn from it?
3. You are not paying attention
Okay, this is one that some of us have to prepare for because what I’m about to say is something that most will not like and I don’t apologize. Now, those moments you realize that you keep going through the same bad thing over and over again can be very trying. The reason why you will keep going through these things is that you are not paying attention and you are not listening.
You will keep going through these things until you realize what is being shown to you. You will keep going through it until you change what needs to be changed. This is the one that falls under that umbrella of “you’re putting yourself into situations that could have been avoided and it is your fault.” The only way around it is to take a seat, meditate on what is going on, and make the necessary changes.
4. To build you up
You don’t know how strong you are until you SEE all that you have overcome. We may experience things that will tear us down but it is only so that we can start from scratch and rebuild ourselves. Our experiences prepare us for the events that will follow. It causes us to be able to appreciate the little things so that we will not take the big things for granted. We all need to be broken down in order to be built up to where we need to be. I don’t know about you but I welcome these experiences, though I DO NOT like them.
5. To give you a testimony
Have you ever noticed that your past experiences have given you the knowledge to help other people? We go through what we go through not only for ourselves but for others as well. We are not only living for ourselves. Some of us were created to help others heal. We were created to lead others where they need to be led. It is a big responsibility but we are not given trials that we are not able to handle and win.
This does not include lawyers, sometimes they’re set up for failure from the beginning but that is not the point of this. The point is, your testimony is built so that it can be used to bring others to the light. You may be given a light to guide others through the darkness. Do not take it for granted and lead others to their doom. DO the right thing and be that person you needed.
So Why Me?!
You go through it because it was meant for you. You go through it because it is yours to do what you see fit. Take each experience and reflect on it at the end of the day. Get a journal and write down what you discovered or believe your lesson was for that day. If you want to occasionally go back and reread all that is written, go ahead and do that.
It is great to read and experience your own growth. It feels great to see how far you have come and always remember that I am proud of you and I am proud of who you are and who you are becoming. Always remember that SEEING may be difficult but it is also rewarding. You cannot fulfill your purpose until you are able to SEE.